Single…and looking

July 21st, 2006

Many singles are looking….looking for a church which accepts them as single. Unfortunately the church can be a very unwelcoming place for singles, especially single women.

The response of the church seems to be in line with the book “Lady in Waiting”. “Lady in Waiting” describes women “waiting” on the Lord while their “waiting”. However, that may not be the experience of many single Christians. Single Christians aren’t waiting to start life with a partner, but are living in the here and now. They have to make ends met, enjoy daily life and may or may not feel alone. They have gifts, important gifts that are not “make due until marriage” substitutes.

So what can change? I believe that even more than creating a singles group or having yet another get together, we need to change our message. Just recently I attended a baby dedication. The pastor prayed for the child, asking that the child grow in the Lord and follow God’s plan so that the child would be a good husband to his wife and a Godly father to his children as God intended. In fact, during the whole service being Godly was described as being male and married. Women and single men were left out of the equation altogther. I believe that if we want to make a place for singles, to allow them to find their “perfect” church match we need to have an equation that allows for being single to be Godly.


Single….and looking

July 21st, 2006

Many singles I know are looking for a church. Why? Because the church just doesn’t have a place for single women. Everyone just seems to assume that women are married or will be married, so they don’t make a place for singles. Sure, there are singles groups—places where singles can go to meet the other sex, but too often they tend to focus on what it will be like to be married. I’m just not sure that works for many singles. Sure, many of us would like to be married but what happens when that’s not the plan God has for us? Remember Jesus said that some of us would be eunechs for the kingdom and Paul wrote that it would be better to stay single. Yet somehow being single is forgotten in the church.

The response of the church seems to be in line with the book “Lady in Waiting”. “Lady in Waiting” describes women “waiting” on the Lord while their “waiting”. However, that may not be the experience of many single Christians. Single Christians aren’t waiting to start life with a partner, but are living in the here and now. They have to make ends met, enjoy daily life and may or may not feel alone.

So what can change? I believe that even more than creating a singles group or having yet another get together, we need to change our message. Just recently I attended a baby dedication. The pastor prayed for the child, asking that the child grow in the Lord and follow God’s plan so that the child would be a good husband to his wife and a Godly father to his children as God intended. In fact, during the whole service being Godly was described as being male and married. Women and single men were left out of the equation altogther. I believe that if we want to make a place for singles, to allow them to find their “perfect” church match we need to have an equation that allows for being single to be Godly.


Our Witness for the Christ

July 13th, 2006

Lately its seems like witnessing for Christ has just slipped through the cracks. I’m not sure why. Each week I see Jehovah Witnesses out canvassing the streets, and know that the folks how come to our door seem to remember every detail we give out. But lately, I’ve not seen anyone witnessing for Christ.

Why? I know missionaries, I know pastors, singers….but very few evangelists. Jesus entrusted all of us with mission work, yet few of us actually do it.

But then, it seems like the evangelist work that is in place, often draws scorn and riddicule. Is that because the world will alway riddicule or because some of our attempts haven’t been loving?

I suppose that since the Spirit has moved me on this concern, I need to be doing something….what that something is I’m not sure.


Stepping out in Faith….

June 2nd, 2006

In 1906 the Azusa Street Mission started in a prayer meeting of about 13 people….today amost a 1/4 of all Christians can trace their heirtage back to that 1906 revival. It changed the world. The apostle Paul changed the world, as of course did Jesus. So, how do we imitate Christ and change the world?

Recently, I wanted to reach out to a specific group, folks who are in sin…frankly because they are non-Christian. But everyone reminded me, that if I ministered with this sin based subculture, it would undermine any work I did with Alabaster Jars or any church. So I stepped back from that opportunity.

I knew when I stepped back that I was wrong. I put survival over doing God’s will. Now, as I’ve been thinking about it, I realize just how wrong I was, and not just me but our entire church culture. In the US, I believe that relatively few people are coming to Christ. Sure some churches are growing, but not because non-Christians are coming to the Lord. Rather members are swapping one church for another, which I guess is ok. But very few people are actually going out to where the non-Christians are. One of the reasons is if you do go to where the non-Christians are, you’ll be shunned by the church. Take the band Creed. They aren’t a “Christian music” band. I doubt they’ll be invited to travel with some of the big names in Christian music. But their music contains gospel in a form non-Christians can be drawn to. I admire their strength to sing about being trapped in prison of their own making, and Someone else saving them. They’ve stepped out in faith. Takes a whole lot more faith to sing about salvation to an audience of high, anti-Christian teenagers, than singing in front of a stadium of Jesus’ loving, praise shouting teens and families.

I hope some day I’m able to step out in that kind of faith. To know my place in the church is secure while I go out among the folks who need Jesus. I hope to some day have the courage to put my “self” on the cross beside the thief. At this point, I really just don’t have the guts. Maybe one day I’ll step out with others and change the world.


Greater than our Master

May 23rd, 2006

Prosperity, I certianly want it, but is that one of the promises God made to me? I wish the answer was yes, but I just don’t believe that’s what He says. Yes, God has good plans for me. God does have cattle on a thousand hills and He is my Jehovah Jireh.Yet, I’m not greater than my master. Jesus did leave heaven to live life as a rich merchant or king. He was a carpenter by trade and according to the Bible His followers supported Him. God has cattle on a thousand hills, but Jesus had nowhere to lay His head.

It just seems like somewhere along the line we mixed up dependence on God with prosperity. Faith, hope, joy…when you’re rich those things are easy and not really necessary, but when we’re dependent on Christ for everything, we need faith to get through each day, hope to know another day is coming and joy to carry us.

Along with prosperity comes the message that we’re wrong to mourn, we’re wrong to worry, we’re wrong to cry out. Yet, the Bible says its better to live in the house of mourning. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow, because there are enough worries for today. David cried out to God from desperation.

It just seems like when we Christians talk about prosperity, we’re talking about ourselves and not the Cross. We’re focused inward, when the message of the Bible seems to be that when we focus on God, we love one another. Through Jesus, we learn to carry each other’s burdens.

And store up our treasures in heaven. I’m just not so sure I want my treasure here and now. I’m thinking eternity is a little longer than my life expectancy, and if I’m going to prosper I want to prosper in eternity.

So is our faith a get rich scheme? And does the prosperity message really prepare Christians for life’s struggles. When my brother died, no amount of prosperity in the world could have helped. I needed Jesus just to help me breathe–a $50 bill wouldn’t have gotten air in my lungs. Without the Rock, I would have been sunk. I imagine its the same for folks battling drug addiction, or domestic violence, or persecution. Does prosperity really help in those situations? Or is faith more about Jesus and the Cross?

I guess the question is, am I greater than my Master?


Salvation….for women?

May 16th, 2006

If I asked most Christians today if women could be saved the immediate answer would be “yes, of course”. “Salvation is open to all,” most would say. In practice, though, the church often adds a large “but”…and not the kind that comes from pew sitting.

Most of us get the part about not going to hell, we just tend to skip the other parts of salvation. Many churches teach that husbands are accountable to God, and wives are accountable to their husbands. Is that salvation? Paul wrote, “So then, each of us will be accountable to God” (Romans 14:12). When Jesus died on the cross, the temple veil was torn open. “Then Jesus cried again with a loud voice and breathed his last. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, and the rocks were split. The tombs also were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised. After his resurrection they came out of the tombs and entered the holy city and appeared to many” (Matthew 27:50-53). In that moment even the dead had salvation, and in that moment the barrier between God and His people, including His daughters, was torn.

Yet, even today, many maintain that the husband is the “priest of the household”. The role of the priest in the Old Testament was to make atoning sacrifices before God and stand in for God’s people. Hebrews 5:1 says, “Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins.” In saying the husband is priest of the household, we actually say that husbands are saved and wives are not. If the husband must make atoning sacrifices before God for his wife and stand in for his wife, she is not saved by faith. In fact, she does not have Jesus at all for “But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, ‘he sat down at the right hand of God,’” (Hebrews 10:12). If we still need a priest to make sacrifices for us, we do not have the one who “offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins”. If we need a priest, we are not saved.

If we are saved, we ourselves are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9).

Again the question is “can women be saved?”. Most will say yes; many will say “yes, but…” Take the gifts of the Spirit. So claim that men have certain gifts and women other gift, or that men have the authority act on certain gifts and women others. Ephesian 4:7-8 says “But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it is said, ‘When he ascended on high he made captivity itself a captive; he gave gifts to his people.’” The gifts of the Spirit are given by Christ and are related to His being “ascended on high”. They are associated with the act that lead to our salvation. As the passage goes on to explain, “(When it says, ‘He ascended,’ what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower parts of the earth? He who descended is the same one who ascended far above all the heavens, so that he might fill all things.) ” Ephesians 4:9-10. From this act comes, “The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13). Therefore, to say that women are not gifted to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers is to say they do not participate in the act of salvation. If we do not have the gifts, we do not have the Gift.

If we are to truly believe that women can be saved, we must believe they can be truly saved. Women, as well as men, must be accepted as “sons of God” with all the responsibilties therein.


Real Christians….the Real Truth

March 24th, 2006

Recently I received an email from a man who felt he had to pretend to be a Christian in church. Had he accepted Christ as his savior? Yes. Did he pray and study the Word? Yes. Did he try to live by that Word? Yes. But still he felt like a fake. He had to pretend to be something he wasn’t everytime he stepped into the church.

I think its high time we realize what real Christians are.

First, we’re dirty. We wouldn’t need Jesus if we were already clean. See, real Christians need a real Savior. Without Jesus, we drown in messes of our own creation. Paul wrote, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15) and “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do” (Romans 7:19). Real Christians really need Jesus. As Paul wrote, “We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin” (Romans 6:6) Christians must stive to ” consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11).

Next I’ll share a secret, sometimes we Christians speak when we should be silent. I remember an email conversation once where a young woman asked for prayer during a faith crisis. She wanted fellow Christians to pray that she would grow closer to the Lord and grow in understanding. Her sig line indicated she was Mormon. The first response she got was a rant against the Mormon church, telling her that it and she would go to hell. Real Christians do that kind of thing. We Christians shoot off at the mouth all the time. James wrote, “And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:6) and “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing” (James 3:10). Of course, James also said, “My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so” James 3:6). James taught us that we can’t play church while knocking our neighbor, writing, “With it [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God” (James 3:9).

Christians can make others feel unwelcome in church. I had been away from my home church for a few years–because I lived in another country–before returning. I got to church early enough that few people where there-just me, a friend and another couple. The couple approached me, and the husband “welcomed” me to “OUR” church. His indication was that I didn’t belong in “his” church. My friend immediately responded that I was a member of the church and had been far longer than he. About that time, the pastors came up, saying my name. The gentleman realized I was the “Jackie” at university he and the church had been praying for over the years. Of course, this doesn’t just happen today. Matthew 26:7-10, “a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment, and she poured it on his head as he sat at the table. But when the disciples saw it, they were angry and said, ‘Why this waste? For this ointment could have been sold for a large sum, and the money given to the poor.’ But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, ‘Why do you trouble the woman? She has performed a good service for me.’” Even the disciples tried to make some people feel unwelcome. Of course, “For God shows no partiality” (Romans 2:11). We have hope, however because Jesus prayed that we would be One just as He and the Father are One.

Christians argue and fuss. Its been happening for years, even in the New Testament. Paul records, “For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there are quarrels among you, my brothers and sisters” (1 Corinthians 1:11). (Shamless plug for a women of the Bible who was obviously also a leader.)

Sadly the Christians also condon sin when its convienent. We make exceptions. Deacon so and so can get by with adultery, but we lambast gays. Or we just say, as one nationally known pastor said, “the Bible was written over 2000 years ago, its not relevant today”, to make all sin ok. Again, we’re not the first, and based on Revelation we’re not the last. The Corinthians did the same thing. “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Should you not rather have mourned, so that he who has done this would have been removed from among you?” (1 Corinthians 5:1-2).

You see, the bottomline is like James said, “For all of us make many mistakes” (James 3:2). I sin, I speak out of turn, I am unloving—I’ve done things far worse than the people in the stories I’ve shared….I am a real Christian who belongs with other real Christians in church. Only with those other flawed people who make those many mistakes will I ever have the possibility of growing. “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all. But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it is said, ‘When he ascended on high he made captivity itself a captive; he gave gifts to his people.’ (When it says, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower parts of the earth? He who descended is the same one who ascended far above all the heavens, so that he might fill all things.) The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ” (Ephesians 4:4-12). See, only real people will really help me grow. If we’re all having to pretend to be good little Christians, none of us will ever get to BE good little Christians.

There is only one perfect person in church- Jesus. The rest of us are still working out our faith, we’re still struggling with the old creation and allure of sin. Which means the next time we want the “church” to change, to be less dirty and more spiritual, we need to ask the Lord to start with us. I guess if you or I admitted just how real we are, we could all stop feeling like “fake” Christians.


Love and the woman question

March 17th, 2006

I started Alabaster Jars years ago because too many Christian women remain unaware of the Women of the Bible. Initially, I wanted to include only the direct Scripture quotes about Biblical women, but that would have violated copyright. At least 50% of the site had to be original work….thus came the commentary. Often I’ll use emotive words with the purpose of challenging the reader. I’m not always right, I work with the assumption that I’m mostly wrong—because I am not God. I don’t claim to be as inspired as Paul or Moses. I hope I’m a little inspired sometimes. Agree, disagree–either way, I just want people to read the Bible for themselves. Yet, with all the positive remarks I get about AJ, too often I get responses that are simply vitrol spewed across the computer screen. I truly do not understand why.

We as Christians are first last and always called to love. I personally fall way short of this calling and often write first think later, especially since I love debate. Perhaps that is the answer why.

Yet, I still wonder.

In my deepest thoughts, I’ve come to wonder if “the woman question” isn’t really a love question. Jesus said, “Honor your father and mother; also, You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 19:19). That is a heavy command. Mark12:31 says, “The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.’” It seems to me, this makes the “Golden rule” part of the greater command. Yet there seems to be a divide on the “as yourself”. Sometimes it seems that the church wants men to love women in a paternalistic way–the man will be the “servant leader” who guides the “weaker sex”. Then the church seems to want women to love by shouldering responsibility onto the “priest of the household” who is “accountable to God”. Neither seems like loving someone “as yourself”. (I should mention that in the context of marriage, a husband isn’t just commanded to love his wife as he loves himself. Truly the only way a man could obey the command to a husband is by the power of the Holy Spirit. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the Church-Ephesians 5:25. Whew, now that’s hard!)

Of course, it also seems we miss out on love in the woman question in ministry. We are all called to that “love your neighbor as yourself” part, yet we pick who should or shouldn’t minister based on a characteristic and not the person? I don’t understand. I want to serve based on the life of Christ within me. I love the Christ that is within me….but I am then to turn around and dismiss that same light in another? Is that really how I’m supposed to love my neighbor as myself?

There is a secular song that asks “how deep is your love”; I just wonder what the answer to that question is. How deeply do we love? All Scripture is inspired and of equal worth. I see the “problem passages” as affirming women and mutuality, but even if I didn’t I am still left with the command to “love your neighbor as yourself.” In fact, Jesus did something I am not quite brave enough to do. He gave more weight to certain Scripture than other. “He said to him, ” “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Mt 22:37-40).

It seems to me, when the “woman question” or questions about what Paul wrote come up, we do not need to fall back on the “law of hermenutics” or even linguist explanations (as fun as they are to study). Jesus said that upon the commandments to love God and to “love your neighbor as yourself” rested “all the law and the prophets”. No one wants a “servant leader” standing between them and Jesus or between them and the maturity of Christian decision making. No one wants to be “accountable for God” for every decision in a relationship. Putting someone in those positions is not love. No one wants to be told they minister to others and the Lord, no one wants to be told that because of their birth they are dumber than everyone else. That isn’t love.

Love is hard, frankly I rarely succeed. But shouldn’t love be our answer, even if the question is “the woman question”?


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